yup watever

huh ..long tyme xmenulis cnie..kinda of bz.. by the way ..this is my private diary ...mungkin bukan mcm blog biasa yg org lain buat ... its more like my diary ..i write here ,wat i been through everyday and u are lucky cuz u have read my personal life..which i didnt share his story to other people even my fam and besfren.
imbas2 balik ..hmm banyak yg sdah berlaku ..heppy2 day ..sad day..bz day ...stressful day ...so many ..but itulah life kan...hmm
24 nov - mlm lepak2 at my bf fren house..play game..:)) so happy with them .sy pandai sdah men ckit2 ..ckit ja la..:) :)
25 nov- my bf balik at his house ,,with his uncle and cousin .ada kerja dorg . kinda a bz day for me that tyme. sy mgurus latihan keselamatan kebakaran at my work place.. kinda a stressful day ! arghh ..but congratz to myself sbb dpat mngurus dgn baik sekali wpun x perfect ..sy sgt x puas hati sebb sy hanya setiausaha tapi bertugas mcm penyelaras,,, huhuhuh benci..tapi its ok ..sy dapat pengalaman baru lahh. petang tu jam 5.30 bergerak balik kg ..alone,,in rain,,dark...huhu...2 hours perjalanan....and i think my car break have a problem that tyme....:(( :((
 jam 8 malam sampai d rumah.
26 nov- lawatan akreditasi  ..wah ! so happy berada d hometown sendiri ! dan mmg tempat kerja sgt jauh beza dgn tmpt kerja skg ..........but i learn.....i will improve my service and management later ........:) ) sempat lagi jalan2 with my fren at pekan kgau ...balik petang ...mlm,,sakit kepala huhu
27 nov- still at home..saturday ..hantar my sis p kerja ,,then lepak2 jap..balik rumah jam1pm... kgau is so hot..huhu..at my home pun so hot ...petang tu sy asyik tidur ja la..sakit kepala..line internet pun x brapa ok d kg...
28 nov -sunday .CHURCH . then petang tu jam3 mcm tu balik ......mlm stay2 jap at my bf aunt home..then back home.
 29 nov-  WORKING..huhuh...and today working again ...so many to do ..hmm..cont later. :) :/

sweet nite !

semalam stay jap at his aunt house but so kind of boring there..hmm so mengantuk ..dan x selesa sbb ramai org sana.. jam 10 balik at my house ,,my bf play games (daun terup) ,, dia ajar sy main lap lap :))
dan sy ajar dia main game heart attack dan kaya miskin...its so fun and funny too! laughing and laughing :))

 im happy ...
tapi hari nie perang dingin lagi ..hmm mcm2 ..:((

hepyy tyme with my bf

just now sy at my room..on9 ,tdur2 ,,rest2 alone..kelmarin bf sy bawa p kg dia,lepak2 sana jap,, then mlm lepak2 pula d rumah aunt dia..panggang2 ayam with his cousinss.. :)) its so sweet ... semlam my bf stay at my house then we bangun lambat (hehe) dkt jam1 baru kuar p kedai..makan2..then go to his aunt house again ..stay2 kejap then now dia p training men bola,, and he sent me home...
hari khamis petang or pagi jumaat sy akan balik hometown  ..sebab pagi ari jumaat kami ada lawatan akreditasi  ,pastu sy direct balik home lah ..
and maybe after this ,,tiap minggu i will be come back home at hometown becuz my sister from PD will come back and my sister will get married this end of the year..and mau sambut xmas lagi with my family .. i will miss my boyfriend so much ! and sy x sampai hati tggalkan dia alone at here...he must always ask me to come back here like he always do ...hmmm
but one thing ,tadi dia ckp mungkin start next year his life will become more better sbb dia sdah start kerja  ..owh i hope he will be the same... sy akut bila dia start ada duit sendiri ,,dia tu pun mula berubahh..:( tapi i hope not...:( he will need me also ..im sure..
...tapi bila fkir2 sy mula takut ,,,ni maknanya sy mula harus berfikir utk serius dgn dia... sy kan berkahwin dgn dia ! mm jadi maknanya sy harus stay d sini selama2nya ...bekerja di tempat tu untuk jangka masa yg panjang ..adakah dia kan benarkan sy utk pergi ?? dan adakah sy sanggup utk pergi dari sini??
 sy sangat bingung ... kdg2 sy rasa sy belum bersedia utk nie semua..tadi sy on facebook dan sy lihat kawan2 sy semuanya enjoy berabis! jalan2 sana sini ...p labuan ,p lagod seberang ,,enjoy d kk , p bali and overseas.. owh im so jeless... sy pun mau jalan2 ...tapi bf sy mesti melarang sy jalan2 ...tapi bila sy bawa dia jalan2 dia x mau ...hmm wat can i do ...:(( :(( sometimes sy rasa mau pergi jauh dan bebas dari semua nie...tapi ..adakah sy sanggup?? sy sdh hbiskan masa hampir 2 tahun bersama dia,, terlalu rugi ...jika semuanya berakhirr..

:))

yup im active again in my blogger ,,mula2 rasa malas mau tulis then sy mau delete this blog tapi bila sy baca balik ,,rasa sayang pula mau delate,,lagipun i write since january 2010..owh a lotsss of thing happen this year ...hmm so many ,,, but let the past happen lah,then face the future..:)

today 20/11/2010 hari sabtu ,,sy x balik kg hari nie eventhough my sis and little brother ask me to come back ..i stay with my bf at his kg,,stay2 there ..i love my bf so much ..i love him ...:)

copy paste from my tumblahh 5

17 nov jam 5:16pm
 di bilik sajaa„, wah bosan ! hari ni cuti raya aidiladha.. tadi tangari ada kuar jap p hari raya d rumah kwn bf saya„lepak2 jap then sy balik rumah balik.„, ermm
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18 nov jam 12:12am
alone at my room„,tadi jam 7lbh p rumah my bf aunt„ makan sana..dduk2 tgo tv,stay2 ..men game…then pas tu my bf bawa balik at my home„
sana ada dorg ppk tu lepak2 d bawah rumah„ sy segan kalo dorg nampak bf sy naik atas rumah sy..jadi sy suruh my bf balik dulu …x sangka pula dia marah „ dia ckp ‘sama mum sy x malu „tapi sama lelaki bujang malu„” sy ckp nt dorg ckp2 sy masa kerja nanti „ sebab sy hari2 tjumpa dorg tyme kerja„ my bf ckp nie bukan 1st tyme dorg namapk sy naik cni „ lagipun ramai juga org yg sdah nampak & tahu yg my bf slalu stay at my house… :( dear x fham…:(
dan skg dia marah2 dan buat dingin sama sy …:( dear ..sy bukan apa„ tapi dear faham2 la bah „ sy malu mau kerja sama dorg kalo dorg tau sy slalu bawa lelaki stay at my room„ kalo x tjumpa hari2 xpa..:(
 dear miss u …semalam pun by x stay cnie„i already miss u much :( im sorry tapi by patut faham bah …:(

copy paste from my tumblahh 4

16 nov 3:57pm
yup and again…here at ofis..dduk2 saja skg mau tggu balik jam 5 karang..rasa mau selesma argghh..benci mcm nie„ :(
bagus men poker la dulu ..
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tiba2 sy RINDU hidup sy yg dulu ..:( sy sgt rindu…jalan2 d langkawi,genting higland,cameron highland,penang„tambun perak…lepak2 tepi pantai…tgo wayang! sy sgt rindu dengan semuanya…arghhh…. :(
by! sy mau jalan2 mcm dulu …knapa kalo sy bawa dear jalan2 „dear x mau …dear ckp dea xtau jalan la…tapi kitakan boleh cari jalan sama2….sy sgt seronok cari jalan sama2…boleh ceta2..ketawa2…maybe sesat sama2….sy x kisah.tapi kenapa asal sy bawa dear jalan2 mesti muka dear sgt masam ..mcm tension sgt !! :(
semuanya dear xmau ! mmg la ada juga by bawa jalan2 tapi ..asyik2 tempat yg sama & x enjoy …:(
:( by….sy sgt sedihhh…sy mau jalan2..adventure …pa lagi kalo sy bawa by jalan2 p tmpt lain„KL atau oversea..mesti dear xmau !!
semuanya dear xmau „jadi apa yg dea mau??? :( :( :(
nanti sy bawa org lain jalan2 sama sy baru by taw :( :(
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besok cuti hari raya aidiladha…tapi besok hari rabu „jadi cuti gantung la nama dia tu „,only 1 day ……. and i wonder what should i do 2moro…hmm…kan bgus jalan2 …tapi xtau mau p mana…..
bf sy pun tu xsuka jalan2 ..benci betul..:( apa pun dia xmau ..minta ajar men gitar pun dia xmau ..ntah apa yg dia mau ….kdg2 bosan juga ..kdg2 sy mau berceta2 sama dia pun dia xmau …arggghh
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dear i love u ! :)
tadi kuar p makan sama bf saya ..dduk2 ceta2..:)
sy sayang sama bf saya „ kalo sy tgo dia ja mcm sy mau peluk2 dia saja „tapi pa boleh buat „xkan mau peluk d khalayak ramai„ sy suka tgo by senyum..kan bgus mcm tu …kalo dea murung2@ masam2 muka tu „benci sy tgo …:(
sy x stay2 d rumah aunt dia mlm nie„tapi trus balik my house..
i love u dear ! :)

copy paste from my tumblahh 3

13/11/2010 jam 12:22pm
sy masi lagi at my bf house„ skg dorg d ladang and im alone at home again„but i thinks its better„sbb kdg2 x selasa bila his cousins and friends (all boy) stay at this home„ sempit and x selesa„ so i think its better mcm nie…
smalam„ dkt jam11 (kalo x silap la tu) my bf balik at home…hmm „so terjadi la perang dingin antara kami semalam… tapi yg sy x puas hati tu „patut sy yg marah sama dia tapi dia pula yg marah balik sama sy „kdg2 sakit hati juga la..tapi bila pagi2 its become better again… :)
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15 nov 3:06pm
d ranau sdah nie..skg d ofis..relax2 dulu jap ..dduk2 dan on9..kemarin jam4.30 jalan balik d ranau„ then sy trus balik rumah„my bf stay2 lagi at his aunt home…
erm apa mau taip ah…erm teda mungkin..xda mood mau taip pa pa//
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copy paste from my tumblahh 2

12/11/2010 jam 7:35pm
..skg sy d rumah bf sy d telupid„ hari ni hari jumaat sepatutnya time kerja tapi„sy berjaya minta MC dari doktor kelmarin..heheh…
semalam pukul 9+ pm kami smpai cnie..so mcm biasa la„ stay2 at home ja…tapi hari ni sy xtau kenapa sy rasa lonely sgt„sbb bf sy jrg2 layan sy ( i feel) ..banyak habiskan masa dgn cousin2 dia.. dan p ladang kelapasawit dorg waktu siang„mlm ni pun dia jalan sama2 dorg..im alone at home…im so sad…:(
boring & lonely ..tapi apa boleh buat lah…
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9:09pm my bf belum balik lagi„:( he forget me„ :( sy dgr dorg pasang muzik kuat2 d rumah sebelah „(kalo dorg la tu) i wonder what they doing.. and i wonder where all the people in this house go…mum bf sy pun xtau d mana„ dari tadi sy 1rg ja d rumah nie„ so sad…tgo tv..on9 ..dduk2 ja„ :(
my bf 4get about me…dia ckp x lama tp..smpai skg belum balik2..alone..alone..so alone„, :(
 

copy paste from my tumblahh

11.11.2010
tangan masih sakit „ bengkak„di bahagian radial wrist „sakit bila buat mvement atau angkat benda yang berat ckit… sdah 3 minggu macam nie..mula2 ingat sebab sy terlampau main komputer „ tapi tengok mcm lain„sebab dia makin bengkak…
hari nie sy tanya dgn MA pasal tgn sy nie„dia suruh sy pergi x-ray dulu ..after xray jumpa doktor „ingat kan kena operation rupanya x..doktor ckp nie ganglion..if kena operation pun maybe kaan tumbuh balik ..lagipun susah sbb dia hampir dgn saraf radial..so„doktor cuma bagi appoitment saja utk review balik n then dia bgitau just dtg jumpa dia if ada apa2 masalah… MA pun ada bgi sy ubat ..tapi xtau lah sy mau makan ka x benda tu ..hee..
erm hari nie„mcm kelmarin juga d tmpt kerja ada bz ckit „dgn mcm2 urusan..sejak2 akhir2 nie banyak tugas yg sy diberi tanggungjwab d cnie„
tapi its okey ..at least i learn so many new things…and i like it„, xlah boring juga „ :) but after i know i cana do all this things its make me so relief and learn to love and appreciate my self…:)
ok.mcm biasa lah „nite..tyme together with my bf..„stay2 at his aunt home „play games „watching tv„rest2..eat „drink cofee„ story2„ and then he send me home at 12am… tonite my bf x stay at my house ..cuz dia ckp dia mau tgo main bola jam2 am nanti ..at my room xda tv..its okey ..:)
i’ll miss u dear„, ok tyme to sleep„, :)
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this morning„ mcm malas2 cit cuz banyak betul benda yg rasa mau di buat tapi xtau mana 1 mau start dulu „ ermm sy rasa better sy list down mengikut priority baru lah ringan ckit kepala mau fikir..
sy paling x suka bila baru tjumpa org then tiba2 org tu ckp ” jane„napa muka ko pucat ???” atau pun “jane,kenapa ko mcm sakit??” ataupun “jane,kenapa ko mcm sedih ni ??” ataupun “jane,kenapa ko nie mcm ada masalah saja???” wtf„ sy heppy2 pun kena ckp mcm tu juga ka??? bikin panas……. tu la tu saturang kwn tu suka betul ckp mcm tu o huh
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my bf ask me to go with him at his house this weekend„& dia sruh sy ambil cuti this monday ..but i think i can’t..ada patient„ lagipun pengarah x luluskan cuti kalo last minit mcm nie„.. erm actually sy mau ambil sick leave but doctor is busy rite now„ i didnt have a chance to meet her„
and i think i cant take a half day 2moro..i have a patient„ but idk la. have a commitment at a work place sometimes really uncomfortable. arggh

:)

wah ..haha ..lama x post d cnie......mula2 mcm mau delete blog nie,,tapi bila sy baca2 balik..semua sunnguh bermakna pula bagi sy !! so actualy ..its november now!! hujung tahun sdah ..mcm2 kejadian telah berlaku semenjak 2 menjak nie,, amat syg sbb sy x dapat tulis cnie untk dbaca2 balik d masa akan dtg ..but watever ... sbenarnya sy ada buat tumblr dan banyak juga tulis2 my diary d sana...hemm
maybe i can copy paste all that in here ...syok juga bila baca2 balik ! heheh