hepyy tyme with my bf

just now sy at my room..on9 ,tdur2 ,,rest2 alone..kelmarin bf sy bawa p kg dia,lepak2 sana jap,, then mlm lepak2 pula d rumah aunt dia..panggang2 ayam with his cousinss.. :)) its so sweet ... semlam my bf stay at my house then we bangun lambat (hehe) dkt jam1 baru kuar p kedai..makan2..then go to his aunt house again ..stay2 kejap then now dia p training men bola,, and he sent me home...
hari khamis petang or pagi jumaat sy akan balik hometown  ..sebab pagi ari jumaat kami ada lawatan akreditasi  ,pastu sy direct balik home lah ..
and maybe after this ,,tiap minggu i will be come back home at hometown becuz my sister from PD will come back and my sister will get married this end of the year..and mau sambut xmas lagi with my family .. i will miss my boyfriend so much ! and sy x sampai hati tggalkan dia alone at here...he must always ask me to come back here like he always do ...hmmm
but one thing ,tadi dia ckp mungkin start next year his life will become more better sbb dia sdah start kerja  ..owh i hope he will be the same... sy akut bila dia start ada duit sendiri ,,dia tu pun mula berubahh..:( tapi i hope not...:( he will need me also ..im sure..
...tapi bila fkir2 sy mula takut ,,,ni maknanya sy mula harus berfikir utk serius dgn dia... sy kan berkahwin dgn dia ! mm jadi maknanya sy harus stay d sini selama2nya ...bekerja di tempat tu untuk jangka masa yg panjang ..adakah dia kan benarkan sy utk pergi ?? dan adakah sy sanggup utk pergi dari sini??
 sy sangat bingung ... kdg2 sy rasa sy belum bersedia utk nie semua..tadi sy on facebook dan sy lihat kawan2 sy semuanya enjoy berabis! jalan2 sana sini ...p labuan ,p lagod seberang ,,enjoy d kk , p bali and overseas.. owh im so jeless... sy pun mau jalan2 ...tapi bf sy mesti melarang sy jalan2 ...tapi bila sy bawa dia jalan2 dia x mau ...hmm wat can i do ...:(( :(( sometimes sy rasa mau pergi jauh dan bebas dari semua nie...tapi ..adakah sy sanggup?? sy sdh hbiskan masa hampir 2 tahun bersama dia,, terlalu rugi ...jika semuanya berakhirr..