i miss my boyfriend!!

yesterday i go back to my hometown ....and my friend drive my car ...(hmm so slow ) she still in process utk membiasakan diri drive keta...

but ada sedikit jeles cuz dia pandai bawa kereta manual ..my car is auto..but watever ...i drive for 1 year+ and she baru mau mula utk membiasakan diri drive keta( oredy got a lisence)..

but after this saya akan refresh balik utk drive keta manual....

yesterday hanging out with friend at town ..going lunch sekejap....niat hati mau jalan2 lagi kejap tapi rupanya saya period ...rasa x selesa cuz suar pun sdah kotor ...huhu...

then singgah kakak sy jap then balik......

at home .rehat2...pinggang pun dah sakit cuz period ...

be at home...so nice ...cuz i got my dad..my mum ...my lovely sista....my little brother... i luv them all so much.....really!!.....

pagi tadi pergi church sekejap then jam4 go back at here again ...my workplace....huhu...rasa mcm xmau balik...belum puas berehat d rumah....

ingat mu pergi shopping dressess at town kejap tapi x sempat....hem...d sini x dapat shopping ..(huh)***

and now...just at my room...so lonely..miss my family.... im alone at home.....

my boyfriend .....i miss him too....i need hm rite now......:-(..

but better dia balik kg to help his mum for a week ..tadi dia x mau balik ..tapi sy yg suruh dia balik...tapi skg mcm menyesal dan rindu dia pula......

but its better for us...lagipun sdah lama dia berehat d sini...nothing to do...better he help his mum at their farm..or do watever there.....

and i take this opputurnity to siapkan my assigment..i will start tonite....stay up tonite....

help.......!!!!

MY ASSIGNMENT NOT YET DONE.......!!!!

DATELINE: 19 FEBRUARY 2010

.

my beST Friend...(BFF..??)

I got one bestfriend here..in my workplace...and we come from same college but different course...so sy dan dia sudah berkawan selama lebih kurang setaun lebih...going work together..come back home together....many thing we do together...sharing our heart....

dan dari dia lah saya berkenalan dengan bf saya yg sekarang ...my friend got a bf..and 1 day semasa lunch my friend mengajak saya makan bersama  ..tapi dia berkata ..kawannya( time tu dia x mangaku tu bf dia) akan makan bersama.....sy ckp ok ...sebab saya pernah juga ikut dorg makan sama...

then rupanya bf dia time tu juga membawa seorng kawan ...mula2 x mau ikut makan sama tapi dorg panggil sekali lagi then dia pun ikut ...sangat lucu bila saya terkenang kembali...mcmana sy boleh terjatuh hati saya xtau lah ...masa tu saya masih dengan bf lama saya (so damn) ..

then lepas tu besok2 ...then biasalah ada kabar dia mau minta my fon number...(i oredy think bout that) 

then ada plan kuar p makan lagi ..then pas tu jalan2 jap...my friend and her bf tinggalkan kami berdua di belakang ....

masa tu saya x pernah terfikir utk mau menerima dia ...bila kami sudah berkawan dia menyatakan hasrat utk mau jadi bf saya ..saya hanya gelak and say..let be friend...HE GOT NO JOB...NO MONEY ..NO CAR...AND NO HIGH EDUCATION....no..i dont mean to merendah2kan dia..tapi that's the reality ...jika saya x cakap pun ...org lain tetap akan cakap....

but masa tu IM SO LONELY cuz my previous bf so damn far away ...and he start to ignore me (i know he got a new gf) 

...and so DAMN saya terjatuh hati with his SMILE ...

only SMILE?? i dun know but he got an aura...  and every single day i fall in luv with his personality ....

if only he got good job....what should i do...untill now....

i oredy got a plan to leave him dulu...but why untill now i still with him??

o so damn ...let forget bout dat...

then how bout my bestfriend?? then she oso still with his bf...her bf oso had no job..no money ...

is WE ARE STUPID OR WE ARE BEING STUPID...

DO PEOPLE CALL US STUPID....oh i just dont care (* do i hipokrit)

then i know maybe someday she will break up with his bf and she say she will not married a MUSLIM ..cuz we are CHRISTIAN ..thanx God my bf is christian (*my previous is muslim too)

bukan menghina a religion but mcmna utk berkahwin jika family x akan setuju ...

my bestfriend got a very bad life... (i see that) ..her bf is somtimes so damn jahat ...many thing he do with her...thanx God my bf is not like that....

she awez crying a lot ...they break but they will come back to each other...so many times....so i dun know wat the ending ....

o wat do i care with other people sedangkan my life oso so damn teruk ....if my dad know my life like this ...and know he will be angry ....

gave money to a guy ..lend my car to him ....oh wat apoint ..cuz i really love him ...he is my lifenow...

saya bukan mau memburuk2 kan dia d dalam blog ni ....bukan juga utk memburukkan siapa2 ....

cuz saya sangat sayang realtionship kami ....dulu my bestfriend+bf and me+bf selalu jalan and makan sama2....

do  stupid thing together... we are friend....

dulu when my bestfriend break (sebelum balik lagi) with her bf ...she said she are free now...

and saya sgt susah hati ...saya hilang tempat mengadu kalo terjadi apa2 dengan saya dgn bf saya ..sebab hanya dia yg tau everything....i pray they will berbaik kembali ....

saya sangat sedih bila mereka berpisah ..sy rindukan saat2 kami gembira bersama....

** adakah saya sgt selfish.... i dun know....

but sometimes ...saya rasa lain dengan my bestfriend itu...kdg2 saya rasa mcm ada penghalang/tembok antara kami ....kdg2 saya cemburu dgn dia ...i dun know...but if she break with her bf now...saya rasa jarak kami semakin jauh ....she will get a better future then ..and i?? still the same??.....

better saya x fikirkan lagi pasal hal ni ....

**ermm watever korg faham ka x faham apa yg sy taip ni ..sy xtau lah...

but i still keep thinking is she my BFF if our lifestyle is change??

what should is do with my EX BF??

WHERE'S THE FEELINGS GONE??

i oso dont know why i falling in luv with him be4 this...am i luv him?? I DONT KNOW ...maybe just a feeling 'suka' or bcuz i just wanna somebody care and luv me... or watever....

but now..hanya yg tinggal cuma perasaan meyampah cuz dia selalu mengganggu hidup saya..kenapa dia x belajar melupakan saya saja...diakan sudah ada gf ...kenapa still want to kacau me..and destroy my relationship with my  bf...dulu sy dah bagi amaran dont send me another msg......but why he didnt want to understand!!

DAMN!! I just want no more him in my life...*huhuhu*

and a day come again....

long time not write in this blog..maybe cuz didnt have a time....

and the day i going through still the same ..going to work...come back home...and being together with my hubby ..all the time....

kdg2 terasa juga sedikit terkongkong cuz i think i even dont have a time for myself... being together all the time...except when im going to office.. but sometimes i think its so nice...ermm watever...

so..

• im still belum buat apa2 on my asigment ...argg tension...
• still belum selesai kerja2 d office...

ermm malas lah mau menaip lagi ..malas mau melayan perasaan setakat ni ...k..gotta go..

im get mad..

and here i am again without my dear by my side....all alone in my rooming and online~~is only the thing i do selain makan,tidur... just to membuang kebosanan ...my friends invite to join a forum to  discuss about our assigment ..baut i cant join ..cuz i cant download YM toolbr..dun know wat the problem....

bilalah dpat buat assigment ni...i oso dun know dan dateline  semakin hampir itu 19 february depan.....

where is my dear ...napa belum sms/call sy lagi... he said he will sms me later after he come back home...ermm sangat lama dia pergi *hunting* d hutan bersama his friends..i hope he ddin cheat at me....

actualy saya masih marah lagi dengan dia....dan sekarang rasa marah masih ada....tapi dia buat mcm ni lgi.....

arhgg just biarkan dia..apa yg akan dia lakukan.... i dun really care ...cuz jika dia menipu sy lagi .kali ni saya xkan maafkan dia......let and see.

can money buy love?

12:23 pm 

so sleepy ....after my dear not by my side..sy banyak masa habiskan dengan online....*include FB and blogging...* 

i think i must siapkan my CME slide ..and find informtion bout dat on internet rather than playing internet game....

oso reading nd trying undersatnd for my assigment ....

ok i'll try ...after this..**

did i jeles? my friend got her dream car *vios* his boyfriend bought for her....

she got everthing from his future husband...her bf is engineer... 

 ia membuat saya tergugat sedikt ..*what my bf give to me?* ... i give him my everything...

dear! how come..... i know its my life...we are not yet married ...i still got  choice ...to choose the best of my life.....but ... how can i live without u??**

so i try hrd to take/find opportunity to change our life....

i try so hrd....cuz i really wnna be with u? r u bothered or not bohered?? what r u thnking dear? can u read my heart....... cuz i sanggup memilih cinta daripada kilauan harta....

what bout u dear???